Fuck the Law of Attraction and The Secret and all New Age religion bullshit

I bitch a lot about New Age religion on this here blog. That's because someone whom I really like is being devoured by that shit. A ridiculously intelligent individual who would be a totally cool human being if he would just grow the fuck up and stop clinging to easy answers. He was devoutly religious for many years. Went to church all the time, bought every religious book there was to be found, the whole nine yards. Then one day he realized it was bogus. Bullshit. Now all this was before I knew him. Met him-really like his 'normal' personality. Normal interests, normal outlook on life, all seems good.

Fast forward to one year later. Completely fucking crazy. Filled the Christian hole with New Age spirituality mumbo jumbo. He doesn't watch TV any more-just those stupid tapes. He just doesn't see it. It's insulting to anyone's intelligence. They make life out to be so simple. Just 'do this' and 'do that' and you'll be a happy zombie and get whatever you want. That's not life. Complexity and the full gamut of emotions are what makes human life beautiful and unique. Not mind vibrations and not thinking about the past or future. Humans have 'flaws'; we get angry, sad, depressed, scared, you name it. We also experience happiness, love, joy, passion and a whole lot of other emotions. There's no simple answer for how to live your life perfectly-no simple solution for clearing up depression or unhappiness.

They're just trying to make a profit and it's working. I don't fault them for that. I just wish people (who I care about) would stop succumbing to it.

Strippers hate Christmas

Work has been teh suck lately. Strippers need Christmas gifts too! I'm working this week (the week before Christmas for the calendarly retarded), so we'll see. I have a feeling it'll either be great or horrible. I noticed a lot of girls getting Xmas gifts from regulars last time I worked. These guys are so fucking delusional I almost feel bad for them. I suppose misery loves company

School is quickly approaching, and I'm in no way looking forward to it.

My lease is up in two months-time to start thinking about where I'm going to land this time.

I just ate a bunch of saltines and mini heath bars and then threw them up; I have to say that they taste way better going down than coming up.

...

Once again I'm in 'no work' mode.

Sometimes I feel like life is just a series of re-runs.

"People want life simple. They don't want complexities and nuances and uniqueness. They want a simple moral code that they can print on a 3 by 5 card and use in every situation without having to think or feel fear or hesitation." --An Amazon book reviewer

I lost my underwear...

So Wednesday night didn't go as well as planned. My VIP was not there when I showed up-which led me to sit with this young-ish guy from Jacksonville which led me to 8 or so shots of Grey Goose, which led me to the dressing room calling an ex, which led me to said ex's house...and yeah. Such an awful irresponsible stripper I am. Then I had to do the walk of shame the next morning to retrieve my keys from the club so I could get my precious car back. Not to mention the VIP did show up (late) but my drunk ass left without collecting my $200. Oh well. That was my fourth consecutive night in a row worked, so I was obviously burnt out or something.

Plus I lost my favorite bottoms in my drunken stupor.

The other night I was dancing for this guy on the floor (as in NOT in VIP) and at the beginning of my second dance he tells me "sometimes I cum a little by accident; I don't mean to and I'm sorry but it happens," after which I stepped back a good two feet and replied "no problem, baby" in my sweetest voice. Lame fucker.

There's a fine line between showing enough appreciation for my services and showing too much appreciation. Cash is my favorite form of appreciation and is infact required no matter what. Other than that an erection is acceptable-even expected in VIP-and I may internally feel somewhat disappointed if one is not achieved. Ejaculating is not ever flattering, it's just gross. So if any customers or potential customers are reading this (they're not), keep that in mind please. You'll be able to maintain the iota of respect I may have for you.

Fuck a nigga, money make me cum...

It's true.

Failure

I haven't been doing too well lately. Not in any one facet of my life, just in general. I make good money when I manage to make it in to work, but I've just not been able to go regularly for the past month or so. I went from working 4 nights a week to a mere 1 or 2 nights a week. Just enough to cover my necessary expenses.

I growing sick of the few friends I do have, but what am I supposed to do? I can't alienate myself from the few friends I do have and be completely alone. I know it would be terribly unhealthy, especially in my current state of mind.

I find myself feeling regretful and remorseful of the past. I feel like I always mess things up beyond repair. But I feel so bored if I'm not doing the very things that I later grow to regret. Where's the balance? Why do I always lash out too much...

There's nothing that I'm excited for. I'm not looking forward to anything-and it's killing me.

I'm supposed to be at work right now. I got so drunk on Sunday that I left my coat at work, I hope it's still there when I manage to get my ass in.

I am sooooooooooooo bored, and I'm out of Jager.

Blarrggghh

I skipped out on work again tonight. There are too many fucking girls and not enough customers. I know these are technically excuses, but seriously? I realize that all the girls want Christmas money, and all the men want to save their Christmas money, but that doesn't help me does it?

Last night I got drunk at work again, it's becoming a more regular activity of mine. Luckily I caught an hour VIP towards the end of the night. And get this, my VIP fell asleep. I mean it was probably more an alcohol induced passing out, but still. So I just hung out in the dressing room until the hour was up. Fantastic.

Here's to not making any money tonight!