Could of been the champagne

So I overdid it a bit on the champagne last night, but it's not that often that I get to drink champagne that costs more than $10.

Work was decent last night, so hopefully tonight will be the same.

Lots of clubs in the area have been raided lately so management said that they're going to start checking in on vips. One girl has already been fired for blowing some guy back there. Hopefully this will thin the herd a little.

Holiday season usually sucks, especially with the economic situation as it is right now. At least I have Thanksgiving to look forward to, it's been good to me in the past.

I'm investing in some porcelain veneers this December, so I'm excited about that. Pretty cool that I can afford such a thing at 21, considering it's going to cost around 8 grand.

philosophical bullshit

Work sucked hard tonight.

I'm over this job but I can't quit. I'm addicted to the money.

There's a girl who keeps trying to get me to join her soft core porn site and I'm considering it. I don't want to deal with people in person anymore. I get angry-physically mad-at the customers.

I don't want a future. I don't want to finish school and get a 'respectable' job. I don't want a boyfriend or a house or kids or a dog. I don't want friends. I just want to make money and buy the things I want and take solace in the fact that I care about no one.

I just want to know that people want me but can never have me. Sometimes I wonder if I even have a personality. I try and think about how I feel and what constitutes those feelings and there's nothing. Just blankness.

I find it impossible to make the things I say and do reflect how I really feel because I don't know. I can't grasp the concept of other peoples' feelings. I only feel bad for myself.