I'm supposed to be at work right now. I got so drunk on Sunday that I left my coat at work, I hope it's still there when I manage to get my ass in.

I am sooooooooooooo bored, and I'm out of Jager.

Blarrggghh

I skipped out on work again tonight. There are too many fucking girls and not enough customers. I know these are technically excuses, but seriously? I realize that all the girls want Christmas money, and all the men want to save their Christmas money, but that doesn't help me does it?

Last night I got drunk at work again, it's becoming a more regular activity of mine. Luckily I caught an hour VIP towards the end of the night. And get this, my VIP fell asleep. I mean it was probably more an alcohol induced passing out, but still. So I just hung out in the dressing room until the hour was up. Fantastic.

Here's to not making any money tonight!

Drunk

I just want to be in a perpetual state of drunkeness. Here are some reasons why I should consume alcohol every day, all day.

-I'm much friendlier when inebriated.

-I have a habit of taking off my clothes when under the influence-and not for money!

-I stumble around a lot, which is hopefully amusing to anyone watching.

-I have an affinity for laying down on hard gravel-y surfaces. It never fails; I always end up chilling on the pavement after downing a few (dozen) shots. I'm not really sure why this is a good thing.

-I lose any concern for my own personal safety, especially in regards to sex. Not only am I more likely to fuck strangers*, I'm more likely to go to their possibly serial killer lairs to do it. This is great news if you're a serial murderer in the Atlanta area, or just haven't been laid in a while.

*In regards to the last reason, I won't just fuck any old dude-you have to have some strange occupation or hobby that is entirely amusing to me at the time of courtship (tactful, I know). Then I will surely sleep with you just so I can later relay the stories of my wacky sexscapades to friends (and strangers).

-Less of this blogging nonsense; I'll be too busy sleeping on the concrete and fucking married divorce lawyers to partake in any of this blogging stuff.

I remember back in the days when I was attending Ga Tech I was always plotting ways that I could get drunk before heading to class. Unfortunately due to the fact that I lived off campus and had to drive to class this was difficult. I even considered paying people to drive and pick me up from class in order to fulfill this desire.

Things never did pan out-maybe if they had I'd still be there.