Saturday, March 20, 2010
Far away
So I'm living 1,500 miles away from Atlanta. Pretty sweet. I haven't started working yet and I'm living in hotels at the moment. There are tons of hippies here; hippies are a group that I love to hate (but really just love), because I'm such a not-hippie.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
drugs, drugs, drugs
So I just did a few bumps of coke that I've had laying around for the past few days. Funny story on how I got it. I was at work on Wednesday night sitting at a table talking with two customers. My customer gets up to go the bathroom and this girl I work with but don't really talk to comes and sits down next to me. She makes some small talk with the other customer and then turns to me and asks me if I party. I replied with the ever-so-smooth "uh, sure...if it's free" then she proceeds to slip me a baggie of coke (prob ~3/4 gram) saying that it's really good but she's done too much and is really fucked up. She tells me I should go do it, but I decide to stash it in my bag and save it for later. I was going to do it last night before a dance/rave party sort of thing I was going to but I ended up doing MDA instead.
MDA, meh. I had never done it before, but have done molly (MDMA) a few times. My friend and I decided to snort it because it looked like coke and I like snorting shit. Well that was mistake number one. That shit burns like a motherfucker. Burned worse than coke, molly, meth, adderall (which doesn't burn at all and tastes delicious), we were in tears on the ground. Then once it starts to drip the taste is just foul. Mistake number two was doing it out on my kitchen counter. At the time my roommate wasn't home and we figured he wouldn't be coming back for a while so what the hell. Well after line number one we're in the bathroom crying about the burn when all of a sudden in walks the roommate. About two feet in front of his eye (he was with a friend) are a bunch of lines on the counter, complete with rolled up dollar bills and little dime bags to match. Great, now my roommate thinks I'm a fucking drug addict which is not the case. My friend and I are in the bathroom cracking up because for some reason my roommate busting in on us doing drugs is hilarious to us at the time. He retreats to his room with his friend pretty quickly and we have no other choice but to go back and finish out shit. More incredibly painful burning (at one point my friend said she didn't even want to finish it because it hurt so bad) and we were done. I started feeling it only a few minutes afterwards but the high wasn't what I was expecting. It was a speedy yet happy high, somewhere between coke and meth I guess. I wanted to get leaving for the club quickly before my high got worse or disappeared. Well that was nothing to worry about because my noticable high only lasted about 20 minutes and was hardly evident by the time we got to our destination. Once inside I did notice that lights and discoballs looked a bit cooler than usual, and I may have felt a bit more confident than I usually feel, but it was nothing spectacular. My friend seemed to enjoy it and seemed a bit annoyed that I didn't love it. I noticed that she seems to prefer more chill drugs (weed, molly, shrooms), while I definitely have an affinity for speedier stuff (coke, meth) especially when mixed with opiates (oxy preferably) or alcohol. I guess it's just a brain chemistry thing. We met some boys at the club and of course they needed a ride home so I drove them back to their place. They lived in a dorm room and my friend wanted to chill there for a bit so I figured why not. I drank a little there (along with the one drink I had towards the end of the night at the club) which made things a bit better. We ended up going to chatroulette to try and see how many guys we could get to masturbate and come on the camera for us. After the did the guys we were with would all jump into view and give the thumbs up sign. Pretty immature and entertaining. We left around 9:00 this morning after my friend went off with one of the dudes to participate in some questionable activities. I slept from about 10:00 till 3:30. I can't seem to get tired tonight. That's why I figured I'd do a little of my coke, if I'm going to be awake I might as well be really awake and in a good mood. I'm saving the rest for another party night or work. Whichever comes first.
Speaking of work, I'm moving in less than a week so I'm not going to be seeing much more of the club. This is more depressing to me than I expected. Everything seems better when you're remembering it and not actually doing it.
L and I got into sort of fight the other night. We're so weird. He texted me last weekend asking what I was going to be doing for my last weekend here. Now generally when someone texts you something like that it means that they're trying to hang out with you, or at least I would assume. Especially since we don't really talk very often. So I answer back how I'll probably be packing but I don't really have any finite plans. No response...Maybe he was mad because he invited me to dinner the other night and I declined? I have no idea. So then this Monday I decided to down a half bottle of vodka and get a bit trashed. Around 11:45 or so I emailed L informing him that I was drunk and that we should hangout before I leave. I tell him about the party my friend and I are going to on Thursday and invite him to come. For some reason he responds by telling me that he's free on Tues and Thurs and then adds in his activities he has planned for the rest of the week even though it's pretty irrelevant to me. Well one of those activities is a somewhat girly movie he's seeing on Friday which pretty much means date for him because he doesn't generally go see movies unless he's trying to get laid. Same thing with alcohol. For some reason (me being drunk) I get annoyed by this and tell him that I don't want to sleep with him if he's fucking other girls and go on about how I'm 11 years younger than him and have plenty of other options that aren't fucking around. It was a pretty inappropriate response on my part and in a sober state I see that but I was being a dramatic drunk girl. He responds by acting surprised that I prefer monogamy; something along the lines of 'a monogamous alcoholic stripper who believes we're constituted of nothing more than blobs of cells, do you actively try to not make any sense' Like my profession has anything to do with my sex preferences. Dick. Then, still drunk I go on a rant about men and how gross they are and point out that he was the one who initiated sex with me (when we lived together) and pointed out some lies that I had picked up on in the past but never pointed out. It was a pretty vitrolic email and I didn't get or expect to get a response. At this point I'm done contacting him. If he contacts me again (I put money on it he will) he better have some very important and nice things to say or I'm over it.
I pretty much just wrote the longest post ever (thanks cocaine!), sorry about that.
MDA, meh. I had never done it before, but have done molly (MDMA) a few times. My friend and I decided to snort it because it looked like coke and I like snorting shit. Well that was mistake number one. That shit burns like a motherfucker. Burned worse than coke, molly, meth, adderall (which doesn't burn at all and tastes delicious), we were in tears on the ground. Then once it starts to drip the taste is just foul. Mistake number two was doing it out on my kitchen counter. At the time my roommate wasn't home and we figured he wouldn't be coming back for a while so what the hell. Well after line number one we're in the bathroom crying about the burn when all of a sudden in walks the roommate. About two feet in front of his eye (he was with a friend) are a bunch of lines on the counter, complete with rolled up dollar bills and little dime bags to match. Great, now my roommate thinks I'm a fucking drug addict which is not the case. My friend and I are in the bathroom cracking up because for some reason my roommate busting in on us doing drugs is hilarious to us at the time. He retreats to his room with his friend pretty quickly and we have no other choice but to go back and finish out shit. More incredibly painful burning (at one point my friend said she didn't even want to finish it because it hurt so bad) and we were done. I started feeling it only a few minutes afterwards but the high wasn't what I was expecting. It was a speedy yet happy high, somewhere between coke and meth I guess. I wanted to get leaving for the club quickly before my high got worse or disappeared. Well that was nothing to worry about because my noticable high only lasted about 20 minutes and was hardly evident by the time we got to our destination. Once inside I did notice that lights and discoballs looked a bit cooler than usual, and I may have felt a bit more confident than I usually feel, but it was nothing spectacular. My friend seemed to enjoy it and seemed a bit annoyed that I didn't love it. I noticed that she seems to prefer more chill drugs (weed, molly, shrooms), while I definitely have an affinity for speedier stuff (coke, meth) especially when mixed with opiates (oxy preferably) or alcohol. I guess it's just a brain chemistry thing. We met some boys at the club and of course they needed a ride home so I drove them back to their place. They lived in a dorm room and my friend wanted to chill there for a bit so I figured why not. I drank a little there (along with the one drink I had towards the end of the night at the club) which made things a bit better. We ended up going to chatroulette to try and see how many guys we could get to masturbate and come on the camera for us. After the did the guys we were with would all jump into view and give the thumbs up sign. Pretty immature and entertaining. We left around 9:00 this morning after my friend went off with one of the dudes to participate in some questionable activities. I slept from about 10:00 till 3:30. I can't seem to get tired tonight. That's why I figured I'd do a little of my coke, if I'm going to be awake I might as well be really awake and in a good mood. I'm saving the rest for another party night or work. Whichever comes first.
Speaking of work, I'm moving in less than a week so I'm not going to be seeing much more of the club. This is more depressing to me than I expected. Everything seems better when you're remembering it and not actually doing it.
L and I got into sort of fight the other night. We're so weird. He texted me last weekend asking what I was going to be doing for my last weekend here. Now generally when someone texts you something like that it means that they're trying to hang out with you, or at least I would assume. Especially since we don't really talk very often. So I answer back how I'll probably be packing but I don't really have any finite plans. No response...Maybe he was mad because he invited me to dinner the other night and I declined? I have no idea. So then this Monday I decided to down a half bottle of vodka and get a bit trashed. Around 11:45 or so I emailed L informing him that I was drunk and that we should hangout before I leave. I tell him about the party my friend and I are going to on Thursday and invite him to come. For some reason he responds by telling me that he's free on Tues and Thurs and then adds in his activities he has planned for the rest of the week even though it's pretty irrelevant to me. Well one of those activities is a somewhat girly movie he's seeing on Friday which pretty much means date for him because he doesn't generally go see movies unless he's trying to get laid. Same thing with alcohol. For some reason (me being drunk) I get annoyed by this and tell him that I don't want to sleep with him if he's fucking other girls and go on about how I'm 11 years younger than him and have plenty of other options that aren't fucking around. It was a pretty inappropriate response on my part and in a sober state I see that but I was being a dramatic drunk girl. He responds by acting surprised that I prefer monogamy; something along the lines of 'a monogamous alcoholic stripper who believes we're constituted of nothing more than blobs of cells, do you actively try to not make any sense' Like my profession has anything to do with my sex preferences. Dick. Then, still drunk I go on a rant about men and how gross they are and point out that he was the one who initiated sex with me (when we lived together) and pointed out some lies that I had picked up on in the past but never pointed out. It was a pretty vitrolic email and I didn't get or expect to get a response. At this point I'm done contacting him. If he contacts me again (I put money on it he will) he better have some very important and nice things to say or I'm over it.
I pretty much just wrote the longest post ever (thanks cocaine!), sorry about that.
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