The past week has been quite chaotic. In a good way, really. Well, sort of.

The Mexican and I are no longer together. I found out the other day that he most likely cheated on me. With an acquaintance/friend. It gets even better. This girl, my roommate and me went out to a trendy Mexican restaurant the other night. My roommate and I wanted to go out afterwards and we invited the girl, but she claimed she needed to get home to do some homework.

Well, I found out the next day that she went and hung out with the Mexican. She left the restaurant to go hang out with a man she knew was my boyfriend. Absolutely ridiculous. I guess the Mexican forgets that his roommate is dating my roommate, so pretty much anything he does gets back to me.

I confronted the Mexican when I found out (though to be honest, our relationship was pretty much over at this point anyway), and of course he claims they're just friends and coworkers, and they just went to a bar with his neighbors and smoked some weed. I don't buy it.

Anyways, of course when I went to confront the Mexican last night after work (at the club), we ended up having sex, which was a stupid decision, but in all honesty I don't have any sort of actual feelings for him anymore, so I don't think it's a huge deal.

I also worked on Saturday, and made $900. Nothing too interesting happened at work, but afterwards I went with some other girls to a greek restaurant with the owners and a bunch of their friends. We had a few more drinks, some awesome food, and broke a bunch of plates while yelling "OPA!". I started to feel bad about all the plate breaking, so I took a few of the unbroken plates home with me. They're perfectly good plates!

On Sunday I left to go stay a night in a cabin with The Ex and two other people we used to hang out with. I told him beforehand that there would be absolutely no sex, and there wasn't. Not for his lack of trying, but I'm honestly not attracted to him one bit anymore. It's weird because 2 or 3 years ago I would have sworn that my life would never be the same without him, and I'd never stop being in love with him. I guess time really does heal all.

Work last night was pretty good for me, even though it was an exceptionally slow night. I got two super easy vips, and little asian man was in.

Having tons of excess cash is great. I missed it so much. I went and got new tires on my car today! It's nice being able to do that and not worry about the money.

Sneaky

So my roommate was out of town last week. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but my roommate is dating the Mexican's roommate. This makes things difficult for a number of reasons, but mainly because everyone in our little circle knows everything. If I'm gone for the night, my roommate knows. This means her boyfriend knows. Which means his roommate, the Mexican, knows. This can be a problem when it comes to keeping secrets.

So anyways. I took her absence last week to my advantage and decided to work a night at the club. Even though I had told the Mexican I had quit (and I did- for 5.5 months), I needed money. While some people may frown on this violation of trust, I have to say that the relationship between the Mexican and myself is rocky at best. Honestly, as of now, I'm not sure there is even enough of a relationship to salvage.

So I worked. And it was almost like I had never left. I mean yeah, girls have left and decor has changed, but I couldn't have honestly told the difference between the other night and a night 6 months ago. Well, except for the fact that my tolerance has gone down.

Part of me feels bad about failing. Failing to 'stay off the pole', as they say...but things are different now. I do have two other legitimate jobs. Jobs that I can put on a resume and get referrals from. I have four classes left 'til graduation-the end is in sight. I don't feel as trapped as I used to. And the money is still great.

Lastly, I have been having correspondence with the Ex. Not that I would ever ride that train again, trust me, I'm completely over that...but he always pops up at the most interesting of times.

I'm probably going to be blogging somewhat regularly again, as I plan to work this Friday and Saturday, as well as some of next week.

I don't know

I'm restless.

I talk to my stripper friends on the phone and I miss it.

 I long for the $800 nights.

I want to be able to get new tires, an oil change, groceries, and some new clothes after a night of work.

Things between the Mexican and I aren't going so well. I mean, there's nothing obviously wrong...but I'm bored.

I've just finished up school for the spring semester. I'm 'free' 'til fall.

I want to make money. Enough to pay for fall semester. Enough to go out and spend without feeling guilty.

I do have a job. A few jobs, actually. But the money isn't the same. I can work 40 hours a week and make 1/3 of what I make working 20 hours a week.

I don't know.

Part of me doesn't want to fail. Doesn't want to crawl back into the club like I couldn't hack it anywhere else. I mean, that's what everyone else does-but I don't want to be that.

 I don't know :(