Fully clothed Thanksgiving

I'm going through work withdrawal right now. I always worked Thanksgiving - one of my favorite nights to work...As I was driving to my apartment this evening I passed my old club and felt the urge to stop by. I still have work dreams often.

I hung out with one of my stripper friends the other night, and surprisingly our night together helped me realize that I really don't want that life anymore. I miss it, but I know it's bad for me - like everything in my life. She's still a crazy drunk. She's been dancing for 11 years. She has a degree and she's quite smart (but a little 'off' due to the alcohol and a concussion she got from falling off the pole), but she's stuck in the trap known as the strip club. She tried to get me to work at her club with her. We used to both work at my old club, but she left (got fired for being a drunk) and went to a slightly nicer club in the vicinity. We actually met there for drinks before going out elsewhere. It's sad when you feel more comfortable in a strip club than pretty much anywhere else.

She got ridiculously drunk due to day drinking thanks to a bad date she had earlier in the day. She's gone through more boyfriends than anyone I know. Another example of how strippers can't maintain healthy relationships. Neither can ex-strippers apparently. I've been on a few dates, some with noteworthy candidates, but no. I just don't like anyone and I cannot force myself to play along. Sure I want to 'settle down' and get married and have kids I guess, but I don't want to feel bored or trapped. I see girls I went to school with - you know the type- sorority, fluffy major, mainstream job, and they meet these guys - fraternity, good family, good job, and get married. Very southern and picturesque and blah blah blah but there's no chemistry. It all just seems planned. Like they had a list and getting married to someone with qualities a, b, and c was # 12 on their 'life list'. They don't look like they have fun together (or apart). Half the time the (omg so perfect!!!) guy is cheating, and the other half of the time the girl is. I dunno. I probably just sound bitter. I probably am.

My strip club bartender neighbor invited me to her club's Christmas party. It's the club I worked at for a hot minute back in...maybe 2009? There's an open bar all night, so I'll probably be there. My alcoholic tendencies are on and off. I haven't drank since last Saturday, and haven't been alcoholic drunk for about 2 weeks. I think my alcoholism is a function of my boredom these days. The more bored I am, the more I drink.

I wish I had the ability to travel right now. I think a few months in another state (or country) would do me some good.