Failure

I haven't been doing too well lately. Not in any one facet of my life, just in general. I make good money when I manage to make it in to work, but I've just not been able to go regularly for the past month or so. I went from working 4 nights a week to a mere 1 or 2 nights a week. Just enough to cover my necessary expenses.

I growing sick of the few friends I do have, but what am I supposed to do? I can't alienate myself from the few friends I do have and be completely alone. I know it would be terribly unhealthy, especially in my current state of mind.

I find myself feeling regretful and remorseful of the past. I feel like I always mess things up beyond repair. But I feel so bored if I'm not doing the very things that I later grow to regret. Where's the balance? Why do I always lash out too much...

There's nothing that I'm excited for. I'm not looking forward to anything-and it's killing me.