Would you like some oxy with that cash?

Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm falling into the stripper trap. A lifestyle that I know is unhealthy and damaging, yet I find it alluring. Sometimes I just want to be irresponsible and out-of-control and be too fucked up to give a damn.

The other night I tried some oxycontin that a good customer of mine brought it. It was pretty powerful stuff, and the fact that I was drinking didn't help matters. The feeling was intensely wonderful immediately after ingestion, but a few hours later I was fucked up beyond repair. I remember on the drive home (a short one, thankfully) I was so acutely aware of everything around me; a combination of paranoia and the drugs, probably. Then as I was laying on the couch time would just stop momentarily. I wondered if I was dying, but not in a panicky way. The next day I had a pretty decent hangover.

I'm working tonight-St. Patrick's Day, which is exciting because I have a St. Patrick's Day garter. I've been only working 1-2 days a week lately, but luckily I've been doing pretty well monitarily.

It's somewhat difficult living with my current roommate. Not because he's messy or obnoxious or anything so concrete. It's just difficult living with someone who you've dated, no matter how terrible the relationship was. I think it's just a case of wanting what you can't have and not caring about what you do.

$$$

I had my first + $1,000 night the other night. It was wonderful; paid my rent and all my months bills in one night of work.