No Stoli O

Work last night was kind of shitty. I think I may skip the concert tonight and go to the club instead :(

I've been experiencing some sort of work guilt lately. I want to go in every night out of fear of missing good customers if I don't. Turns out Tuesday (the night I bailed on) there was a good customer of mine in and I'm kicking myself for skipping. I don't want to become one of those people obsessed with work but it's beginning to be that way. I guess when school starts I'll chill out a bit.

Some girl (the one who occasionally gives me free coke) let me use her black light nail polish at work last night and it is freaking awesome. I was admiring my nails all night. I found out she does a lot of meth which makes me sad. She sells a lot and always seems to be in a good mood and now I understand why. I wish meth weren't so bad for you because it really is so freaking awesome.

The club was out of stoli o last night because they forgot to order it or something. Since that's what I always drink I had to switch it up. Well, I made the mistake of switching it up to jager. Yuck. I did about 7 jager bombs and felt gross. I also blew too high so my friend drove me home.

The Ex and I aren't talking at the moment. It was inevitable, really. I constantly feel like he's punishing me for how I was to him [3 years ago]. He can be such a prick and last Friday I think I said some pretty mean stuff to him. I was drunk (of course), but I remember saying something about how I can see why his ex married some other guy instead of him...ouch.

Needless to say I haven't heard from him since that gem and I haven't bothered making contact. I would apologize but I don't even remember what I said. It kind of sucks because he invited me to go to vegas with him this October and I really wanted to go. We'll see.

I think if I work tonight I'll buy myself a new outfit as a reward.

5 in a row

Tonight will be my fifth consecutive night working. Fuck.

I'm in a bit of a funk right now and I just feel like working. All the time. I haven't even been drinking at work. I want to be perfect. Well, look perfect. I already know my personality is shit and there's nothing I can fucking do about that. I want to care about other people-I'm sick of being selfish. Everyone is selfish, right?

I've lost some weight over the past few days because I've been working so much. I like looking thin. Makes you look more...expensive if that makes any sense. I need to go tanning again. And a new outfit.

I don't even remember Sunday night...I did get a vip with this really sweet guy who was stoned out of his mind and thought that I might actually consider dating him.

Oh and these two cokeheads that came in. My friend and I called it right when they walked through the door-"these guys are fucking coked up." Sure enough when we start talking to them they ask if we can get them some blow. Yeah and no. Neither of the resident drug dealers were in yet. 10 minutes we told them. 10 minutes turned out to be 3 fucking hours and things went terribly wrong. The more obnoxious of the pair was dancing around the club like a maniac and kept getting reprimanded by the bouncers. We tried to get him in vip, but he wanted to wait for his coke. He did buy two large bottles of Nuvo and countless other drinks for almost every girl in the club. His buddy ended up going to vip with some nasty chick who fucks customers bareback in the back. They were back there for 4 hours. Obnoxious guy just kept acting obnoxious so I left. Fuck cokeheads.

Monday night was very slow. Luckily I got a vip at the end of the night. It was a couple. On their first date. All they did was make out and...manually stimulate eachother while I stood in the corner of the room like a awkward voyeur or something. At one point I did start dancing for the guy and his chick got jealous and started to try and 'show me up'. Listen lady, I don't give a fuck about your ugly boyfriend and I'd rather you dance for him.

Last night was slow too. Little asian man was in and I got $200 from him and did one vip with a gropester. He kept trying to touch my pussy and I finally grabbed his hand and dug my nails into it as hard as I could. I hate Indian motherfuckers. I also hate how dirty the club has gotten.

Hopefully tonight I'll make $3000.

The Ex invited me to go indoor climbing with him. I declined due to my beautiful long nails I don't want to ruin. I told him he could stop by my place afterwards if I'm not working. I just want to have sex with him, honestly. I'm too fucking smart for relationships I've decided. And I lack sincerity.

Not feeling it

I worked Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday of last week. Didn't do exceptionally well any of those days. I don't even care. I hit my 1,500 weekly goal, even though it took 4 days instead of 3 like it used to.

Wednesday was ok, got a vip at the very end of the night. Did a little bit of coke in vip, but nothing too crazy. Wasn't able to drive home due to 7 shots and 2 glasses of champagne consumed earlier in the night.

Thursday night was better. Had a regular in. Drank slightly too much and wasn't able to drive home. Also got a vip at the end of the night. Might have kissed the regular a little too much. Bleh.

Saturday was the worst as far as my misery level. I didn't drink at all, not even one sip of alcohol, so that put me in a bad mood. Saturdays are full of college kids and bachelor parties which puts me in a bad mood. And the polish guys I dealt with that night put me in a bad mood. They did pay 20 a dance instead of 10, but they were obnoxious and crude. There were probably 15 of them and everytime I danced for one of them all the others would watch. Not just sit back in their chairs kind of watching, but leaning in trying to peer at my asshole every time I bent over kind of watching. And the comments. "I want to eat your poosay-wouldn't you like dat?" Ugh. The manager let me leave early-1:45 or so-and I was home by 2:15.

Once I got home it was time to play 'find the drunk roommates/friends who need to be picked up in downtown atlanta game'. Luckily I found the first one walking down the street by herself at 2:45 in the morning in a shitty part of town like a retard. After I collected her I drove around the club district and spotted the other arm in arm with some dude, crying and wobbling around like a drunkard. I Herded her into the car as well and headed back to our nice not-so-safe home. Now that I'm working again I'm not really feeling the going out thing.

The Ex called me today but I didn't answer. We're seeing a show on Thursday so I don't really want to talk to him until then.

One of my friends at work is trying to set me up with a friend of her fiance. He's an ex punk/metal band guy who looks scary as hell but is actually pretty awesome. He's a vegan which is interesting and he's so different from anything I've ever dated. Plus I like the people he hangs out with-we could go on double dates and shit. On the other hand what I don't need right now is another guy to juggle. It's weird having so many to choose from and not really having feelings for any of them.

I don't know what happened to my feelings. Sometime after returning from Ireland and hanging out with my ex again I realized that they're barely there. It's nice but a bit sad.

I have to move out in 9 days and still haven't found a place to live. Haha.