Sometimes I think about bad things I've done that no one knows about and I get freaked out. I'll be paranoid for a few days that people are catching on and they know.

Why do people do things that they know they'll regret. Is immediate gratification that important...

Every so often I'll get in a mood. I get this feeling of complete control. Everything I say and do is just to evoke a certain reaction to amuse me. I don't care about any of these people or things. It's a state of complete selfishness. I can get whatever I want and do anything to get it. No remorse or regret. Every feeling that I emote is fake-just another tool to achieve what I want.

Then other times I do a 180. I wonder about everyone else. Why people do the things they do to eachother. About people who get married and supposedly love eachother more than anything in the world, and then go and get divorced a few years later and never speak again. Were those feelings they had real? How can you love someone so much and then just cease to care about them out of nowhere.

A trashy whore in love

How does one fall in love with someone who they've only spent two hours with? If anyone knows, please enlighten me.

I'm feeling so trashy lately. Not like there's anything wrong with trashy, but there's ' some what self-aware stripper who makes more than she should so she lounges around all day and smokes, drinks and parties all night' trashy, and then there's 'just not very bright raised in hickville sincerely sweet but dumb as a brick trashy. So what's worse, deliberately being a trashy whore or being too fucking stupid to realize you're a trashy whore?

In the end we're both just trashy whores.