FML

I'm unhappy with my life for the following reasons:

-I'm a college dropout
-I have an alcohol problem
-I'm a stripper and don't see the end in sight
-I have barely any friends
-I never find guys that I like enough to date
-I live with someone who I inexplicably care about more than I should who's completely indifferent to my existence
-I don't have any hobbies

Almost all of these things are completely within my control to change.