Good luck to t.i. and his short, ugly wife

This has been a work-less week since Tuesday.

I hung out with the Ex yesterday. He told me I could stay with him until my new place is ready but I declined. I don't want to be hanging around his place while he works all day. We went to stone mountain on Saturday and then out to eat. He paid for my dinner which was odd. Then we played this game, mastermind, which I kick ass at. I beat him both times which bothered the hell out of him. He's smarter than me, but I have areas of extreme brilliance. Logic and deduction are some of those areas.

We didn't get to bed 'til 6:00 in the morning and slept until 2:00.

I mentioned that t.i. was getting married this weekend and I was upset about it. He told me that his ex was getting married next weekend. I still feel bad for him about that. Even though he pretty much dumped me to be with her (again), I understand.

I know I make a shitty girlfriend; I've been told this by nearly everyone I've dated. I talked to him about why I'm a crappy girlfriend and he said I'm not needy enough. Too needy is annoying but I act like I could do without completely and it's a blow to the ego. I guess.

He once mentioned how his ex girl was 'head over heels' for him and that's something I could never be. I find it fake. I know girls who do that whole routine and they're the ones who always end up fucking other dudes during the course of their relationships. Remember, if she's easily wowed by you she's easily wowed by others as well.

No one is that special.

Running away

So I moved out of colorado guy's place. I figured I better get out before I get too attached. After our little fight the other night he started talking about his feelings for me and I think maybe I freaked out a bit. In true sadsociopath fashion I ran away. I'm really regretting it I think. I feel sad and alone. I want to go back but then I feel like I'm being weak-I dunno. Plus living out of hotels is so expensive, I was saving so much money living there for free.

On another note I talked to the ex today and he was pretty upset because he found out his ex (the one he left me for) is getting married in a few months. I do feel bad for him. I know he really loves her and it must be crushing to watch the person you loved and we with get married to someone else. It must make you wonder what was so wrong with you that they didn't want to marry you. Oh well.

I'm in a hotel room right now, it's pretty nice. I miss the boy a lot but I do appreciate the real bed, cable TV and strong internet connection.