Lazy Ass Motherfucker

Well, I know this blog is supposed to be about stripping, but my lazy ass has made a grand total of $800 in the past two weeks! That's because I've only worked 2 days.

This is because I'm a lazy ass motherfucker. I know it may sound a little extreme, but I'm honestly the laziest person I know. Which doesn't even mean much, because I don't know many people. I'm too lazy to make friends.

I'm too lazy to get a real job.

I'm too lazy to go to 'smart person' school.

I'm too lazy to start my own business.

I'm too lazy to go out.

It's gotten to the point where I don't even heat up my food in the goddamn microwave. I don't cook my oatmeal, I just mix it some pudding (or yogurt, or coolwhip) nice and cold and raw.

I think I may actually work hard at being lazy, so maybe I'm not lazy after all.

And I've gotten fat.

I'm too lazy to smoke my fucking cigarettes.

On a completely unrelated note, what's with everyone asking me what I do, or the even more intrusive, 'are you a stripper?'

I must be emanating some sort of whore vibe now, because everyone in my general vicinity feels the need to inquire about my 'work'. Seriously, just because I'm paying cash (ok, sometimes in all $1 bills), you cannot extrapolate that I'm a stripper or God-forbid, a prostitute.

I do not look like a fucking whore goddammit.