Three's a crowd

So, the weekend...

I’ll start with work Saturday night.

I don’t even remember the beginning of the night. Not because I was drunk at the time-but because my memory of the entire weekend is blurry due to the events on Sunday. Anyways, as I was walking around I’m flagged down by an older couple. Well, an older man and a younger Asian woman. The younger Asian lady was very pretty-skinny with fake boobs and long hair. The man explained that his girlfriend was bisexual and wanted to explore that. ‘oh god’, I thought to myself. The thing about couples in strip clubs is that they’re either really freaky or the chick is really pissy about being there. This was going to definitely be the former.

So I sit with them for a few minutes and the man mentions getting a vip room. At this point they seem like typical weirdos and not too fucked up. So we go back to the room and the lady immediately takes off her dress. She’s not wearing any underwear, and a few seconds later she takes off her bra as well. I’m standing there-a little uncomfortable at this point-when the bouncer pokes his head in to tell us the waitress is on her way to collect the room fee. I was hoping he’d tell the lady she needs to put her clothes back on, but he just looks at her and leaves.

While all this was happening her boyfriend was using the restroom. Well, he walks back in and has brought another girl with him. The waitress then joins us to collect the room fee and figure out payment stuff. Well the guy then decides he only wants to pay one girl-me. The other girl starts getting pissy and demands some compensation for her time.

At this point I realize how fucked up (drunk) the guy is. I finally manage to convince him to pay the girl some cash. She leaves, but things continue to get worse. He isn’t cooperating with signing the receipt and keeps scribbling everywhere. Finally he produces a legible signature and the waitress can go.

At this point 25 of our 30 minutes have been used-thank god. He keeps telling me that if his girlfriend likes me, an arrangement can be made involving some sum of cash to fuck his girlfriend on a monthly basis.

Finally time is up and the bouncer comes in and tells the girl she needs to put her clothes back on and they need to leave.

The whole ordeal wasn’t worth the $200.

Sunday was even crazier. I’ll hash it all out tomorrow, but it involves oysters, alcohol, me being strapped to a gurney, handcuffs, and hospital time.