On relating to others

Well last night was a bit of a waste. Good thing it was sort of an extra day for me since I don't normally work Tuesdays.

I think there may have been 7 customers total last night. The bouncer had the audacity to tell me that he warned me not to work the Tuesday after Labor Day, but he forgot to take into account that he probably told me this whilst drunk and therefore I was unable to retain this information.

In spite of the fact that I made <200 last night I still went out today and spent $55 on a new tanning membership, $26 on some stoli vodka, and $14 on nail polish. I notice that I tend to spend more on the days after I make no money at work than visa versa. Shopping therapy or something.

So the ex and I are going out of town this weekend. This promises to be interesting. Last night I was sitting with some customers of mine and one of them asked me if I had ever been to Biloxi. I excitedly responded that I was infact going there this weekend. Turns out he is too, and we're staying at the same hotel. Pretty funny. I decided to tell the ex about this just to see what his reaction would be. My email went something like this:

"hey, I was at work last night and found out that a few of my customers are going to be in biloxi this weekend and they're staying at the same hotel as us! Now we have people to hang out with!"

I was honestly hoping this would bother him a bit, but he just chose to completely ignore the whole situation in his email back to me (there were other points in my email about more logisitical things such as when we were leaving and what to pack). What does this mean in man language? Is he annoyed and illustrating that by ignoring the issue?

I remember when I lived with him I was constantly trying to get a rise out of him. He's pretty stoic usually when it comes to arguing. There was one time where he got sort of mad and yelled at me to 'shut the fuck up for two seconds.' That was probably the most emotion I'd ever seen him show. Then later that night he tried to have sex with me.

I think part of my issue is that I fail to see other people as my equals. I tend to view myself as a unique and more clever organism and therefore cannot relate to others in a sincere fashion. I fail to realize that most other people probably have the same feelings and thoughts running through their brains at all times as I do when dealing with them. This causes me to get my feelings hurt but not care or recognize when I may be doing the same to others. I have no idea how to drill this concept into my head so that it's present when I'm interacting with others. Until I'm able to do so I think all my relationships with other people will be dysfunctional.