The Souvenir

So I'm pretty sure Colorado guy gave me HPV. At first I wasn't too positive, and tried to tell myself it was razor burn or something, but at this point I'm 95% sure it's HPV. What sucks is that I'm in a foreign country so I can't even get to physician to diagnose me and start treating it-and I know with HPV the sooner you start treatment the more likely you can get things under control.

It's further ruined my vacation, which wasn't very good to begin with, as I can't stop worrying/thinking about it.

As much as I want to be mad at Colorado guy for this, I can't bring myself to feel angry towards him. Afterall, it's my fault for sleeping with a guy who I knew was kind of skanky. Note: if a guy can't go 3 sentences without mentioning some chick he's banged (married, fat, lives in the same complex...anyone with a vagina in his general vicinity) it's probably bad news and you shouldn't let him stick his penis in you; even if it's wrapped.

He's emailed me about how great Montana is and what a good time he's having. It's like, that's nice, you sleep with me for two months, infect me with an incurable STD, move 2,000 miles away and then let me know what a great time you're having. Just what I want to hear!!! Can't wait for the emails about how he's won the lottery and found a cure for aids. Also, he addressed the email 'stripper', I hate that shit. My Ex does that too. I don't address your emails 'unemployed' or 'poor motherfucker'. So fucking disrespectful. If you saw me as a stripper then you should have paid me for my fucking time. God I hate men.

One slightly good thing that's come of all this is some weight loss. Because I've been so upset over this...revelation...I've not had much of an appetite and have lost 5-7 lbs so far.

I know a lot of people have it and it's probably not going to ruin my life but I just feel gross. Dirty. I'm not even freaking promiscuous-I've only slept with four fucking people!

And there's part of me that wonders what kind of guy is going to want to be with an infected stripper. I guess growing old alone isn't that bad-I can get cats or something; they wont judge me by my sexually transmitted diseases.

I've never wanted to get back to the US and to a doctor so badly in my life.

Hopefully work will be good when I get back to Atlanta, I need some serious monetary therapy right now.