Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I don't know

I'm restless.

I talk to my stripper friends on the phone and I miss it.

 I long for the $800 nights.

I want to be able to get new tires, an oil change, groceries, and some new clothes after a night of work.

Things between the Mexican and I aren't going so well. I mean, there's nothing obviously wrong...but I'm bored.

I've just finished up school for the spring semester. I'm 'free' 'til fall.

I want to make money. Enough to pay for fall semester. Enough to go out and spend without feeling guilty.

I do have a job. A few jobs, actually. But the money isn't the same. I can work 40 hours a week and make 1/3 of what I make working 20 hours a week.

I don't know.

Part of me doesn't want to fail. Doesn't want to crawl back into the club like I couldn't hack it anywhere else. I mean, that's what everyone else does-but I don't want to be that.

 I don't know :(

3 comments:

Bathwater said...

It isn't about failing, the money is always going to be alluring. It is about learning how to live without it.

If you want to do other things you are going to have to learn to do without it and the life style that comes with it. I think you are a strong person to avoid going back.

But you would not be a failure if you did. You have choices. Don't think negative.

Arundhati said...

Keep your chin up, and be strong!

Bathwater said...

I had to go private, send me and email if you would like to be invited to continue reading.