MMA psycho

Last night was my best money night this week. Still wasn't great, but I walked with almost $500 and only worked 5.5 hours.

The little asian man is back. He'd been gone for about 3 weeks because his mom was sick but she finally passed away. I sat with him for much of the night and made most of my money there.

The other customer of mine that night was a fucking psychopath.

I was on the main stage for my first stage set of the night and a larger blonde man with a fresh black eye came up and tipped me a $20. Then about 2 minutes later he came up to the stage again and tipped me another $20. He tells me to come see him after my set and I'm like "yes sir!"

So I go over to his table and sit. He immediately hands me another $20 upon my arrival. Then things start to get weird. He tells me he's an MMA fighter and he had a fight earlier in the day, hence the black eye. It's pretty brutual as far a black eyes go, the whole left side of his face is swollen and bruised and his cheek bone feels broken (yes, he made me feel it). He seems ok with this. He immediately orders two shots of tequila for himself and a shot of vodka for me.

When the shots come he aggressively squeezes the lime into the shot and then tosses the juiceless lime at a girl's ass who is dancing at the table beside us. Hmmm. She turns around and he just smiles at her and then hands her a $20. I guess she decides that the $20 is worth not making a fuss and turns back around to continue her dance.

Mr. MMA is not done with his shenanigans yet.

He starts flinging stuff off the table like a child throwing a tantrum. The ashtray, cigar menu, redbull can, and an empty box of cigarettes are all casualties of his outburst. I start to feel annoyed and tell him I need to go walk around and make some money. He hands me two more $20s and tells me to stay. Ugh.

He then decides to shove a $20 bill into a beer bottle. Once it's in there he turns to an innocent bystander at our table and tells him he can get it out. He takes the bottle and smashes it against the base of the table, shattering the bottle. Not only is there broken glass all over the floor, he managed to cut his hand during the incident, so his hand is all bloody. Of course he doesn't notice right away and gets some blood on my new white top. "you just got blood on me sir," I say in a rather annoyed tone. He hands me two more $20s. He pours some beer on his hand to get the blood off.

The fun isn't over yet, though. He decides to go back to harassing every customer within a 3 ft. radius of himself. He throws a straw at one guy's head. He then makes fun of another guy's jacket. This goes on and on until I finally tell him that I need to go because he's acting like a child and he's going to start a fight. He gives me 40 more dollars and I get the fuck out of there.

About 7 minutes later I see him being escorted out by two bouncers and have a happy party in my head. At least I made $180 off him and only sat there for around 30 minutes.

Still, I'm not entirely sure it was worth it.

The ex started laying it on pretty heavy yesterday and casually mentioned that we should hang out again. Hmmm. I think we're both kind of lame, really.