Two posts in one day (sort of). It's a new record!

I just spend a while reading another blog and I swear it seems as though it could have been written by a future me. More like hoping, really.

I hadn't thought of the ex-roommate (L) for a while. It had been a few weeks maybe months?) since last contact and I was feeling happy enough with my life that he hadn't really popped into my mind at all.

Until he emailed me, of course.

Isn't that the way it always is? You finally come to terms with the fact that you and so and so aren't going to work out; not as lovers, not as friends, not even as acquaintances and then BAM, they pop up.

He had sent me some stupid email with a bunch of questions under the guise of it being something interesting he was 'researching'. No 'how are you' or 'what have you been up to', just 'answer these questions so I can tell you about yourself'.

He's crazy. Not in a maniacal, violent way, though I did catch glimpses of his physically aggressive side while we were dating, but in a delusional, cult follower sort of way. Who knows, maybe the email really was just him doing research on some stupid shit that he's 'following' now.

Regardless of its intent, it got me thinking about him again, which I hate to do. It goes nowhere. It's just me shifting the blame of what went wrong back and forth between him and me. I start to analyze everything that he'd ever done or said. I'll recount all the stupid, shitty things he's done and then I'll switch over and think about all the cute, endearing things. I'll sit there and wonder if I'll ever care about someone of the opposite sex again.

I do date, though you wouldn't be able to tell from this blog. I'm just too picky. I can't get into anyone else until I get over the fact that L is gone. Sometimes I wish he would just die so that he were really gone and I'd be forced to move on. Then I feel terrible about wishing for such a thing. I don't know.