Could of been the champagne

So I overdid it a bit on the champagne last night, but it's not that often that I get to drink champagne that costs more than $10.

Work was decent last night, so hopefully tonight will be the same.

Lots of clubs in the area have been raided lately so management said that they're going to start checking in on vips. One girl has already been fired for blowing some guy back there. Hopefully this will thin the herd a little.

Holiday season usually sucks, especially with the economic situation as it is right now. At least I have Thanksgiving to look forward to, it's been good to me in the past.

I'm investing in some porcelain veneers this December, so I'm excited about that. Pretty cool that I can afford such a thing at 21, considering it's going to cost around 8 grand.

philosophical bullshit

Work sucked hard tonight.

I'm over this job but I can't quit. I'm addicted to the money.

There's a girl who keeps trying to get me to join her soft core porn site and I'm considering it. I don't want to deal with people in person anymore. I get angry-physically mad-at the customers.

I don't want a future. I don't want to finish school and get a 'respectable' job. I don't want a boyfriend or a house or kids or a dog. I don't want friends. I just want to make money and buy the things I want and take solace in the fact that I care about no one.

I just want to know that people want me but can never have me. Sometimes I wonder if I even have a personality. I try and think about how I feel and what constitutes those feelings and there's nothing. Just blankness.

I find it impossible to make the things I say and do reflect how I really feel because I don't know. I can't grasp the concept of other peoples' feelings. I only feel bad for myself.

Bringing Pops to the Titty Bar

So I completely forgot to post about a little something that occurred last Sunday...My old roommate decided to drop by the club, and he brought a guest!

His stepdad.

Now if that isn't just the trashiest, most redneck thing to do, then I don't know what is. Seeing that he's pretty much trailer trash sans the trailer (how he was blessed with above average intelligence I'll never know) it wasn't all that surprising-but still annoying. He did the same thing with a friend of his a while back (brought him to my club), which wasn't as bad, but still obnoxoius. It's like he's saying, "Hey look, I fucked this girl and she's a stripper, hur-de-durrr. Even though there wasn't much fucking, and the fucking that did occur was horrible, small details like this don't matter to men.

Needless to say I ignored the both of them and got trashed in the meantime. I got a customer to buy me half a new outfit, so the night wasn't a total wash.

I took a bit of time off last week (3 nights), but this week it will be back to work.

.00

So I blew a .00 at work tonight for the first time in a while. It feels pretty good to be able to drive my own vehicle home, I must say.

My new roommate is really cool. It's strange having a roommate who is actually nice and friendly and doesn't act like an asshole 99% of the time. He will wash my dishes, take out the trash, offer to cook for me...it's great.

I've been working a lot lately. Tonight I was in VIP with some other girls and they were gross. As soon as I walked in, and I was the last girl to do so, I knew that I was going to be in for a disturbing time. I really tried to keep my guy's eyes on me so he wouldn't feel gipped or left out. Ugh.

Marriage

"Marriage is just prostitution prepaid and purchased at wholesale price."

Shitty coke in the parking lot

So a friend and I hung out in little five a few nights ago for the purpose of watching her friend's band. I don't often go to little five to party because it's just not my 'scene'. I'm not really into the whole dirty pbr drinking hippy thing.

Anyways, when we arrived there weren't many people there. Maybe....15. I felt like it was going to be a pretty lame night, but I'd stick it out. I went and ordered a stoli o shot from the bar and sat perched to people watch. There were some interesting characters in there. From the far-too-old to be here creepy guy to the heroin skinny skanky girl with her douche-bag boyfriend, quite an odd assortment. And then the dancing. Hipsters dance like epileptic squirrels.

So about 2/3 way through the night some northern accent having asshole comes up to me and starts making conversation. He buys me a few drinks (YAY) and proceeds to talk my ear off about his baby mama up in Detroit and blah blah blah. About 30 minutes into the conversation he asks me if I want to do some coke. What is with guys at the bar/club approaching me with coke. Do I look like a fucking coke addict? Anyways I partook in the snorting of said coke (which wasn't that awful) which must have caused the guy to think he had the right to suck my face off. I not-so-politely declined stating that 'I have no idea where your mouth has been'.

You think I'm going to fuck you because you gave me some drugs? Fuck off. Yeah, that's all really.

All alone again...

Holy crap I miss living alone!!!