What's wrong with men

So my friend won't shut up about how she still loves her ex and it's driving me crazy. Every single day she's moaning about how she loves him and is going to kill herself and blah blah blah.

He is a fucking asshole. If someone doesn't care enough about you to act like a civil fucking human being towards you why would you waste your time and energy on that person.

She's been dating a ton but I guess she hasn't found anyone she's clicked with. I'm not sure men really understand the notion of 'clicking'. It seems to me that they are mostly concerned with fucking and how many drinks they're going to have to buy before the fucking happens.

It's this general attitude that makes me want to kill them. I fantasize about it far more than anyone should. I don't know why I have such a problem with sex. If I were certain that in every case the female wants to have sex just for the sake of sex just as badly as the man, then it wouldn't bother me. What bothers me is that men see it as just sex. They don't care about the person whose vagina they're penetrating, they care about the vagina. A lot of women don't realize this and think there's more to it. There's not.

Men are scum and they don't even have much control over it. I just want to see them suffer.

When bad turns to great

Wednesday night started out horribly. I was in a piss poor mood and just stood around glaring at customers all night.

At around 2:00 I had accepted the fact that the night had been a bust and decided I'd just try again tomorrow. Then, as I was dancing for some regulars I noticed a guy staring at me in the corner. He was wearing a baseball cap and a t-shirt, but I just had a feeling about him.

I decided to approach, and after about 2 minutes of small-talk he asked if I wanted to spend the rest of the night in VIP. Fuck an A!

He was fairly obnoxious in vip, but at $400 an hour I can't complain. At one point he did pull out some coke but I faced the other way and let him do his shit.

So the night turned out waaaaaay better than I expected and I didn't have to work Thursday.

The life of a stripper.

Could of been the champagne

So I overdid it a bit on the champagne last night, but it's not that often that I get to drink champagne that costs more than $10.

Work was decent last night, so hopefully tonight will be the same.

Lots of clubs in the area have been raided lately so management said that they're going to start checking in on vips. One girl has already been fired for blowing some guy back there. Hopefully this will thin the herd a little.

Holiday season usually sucks, especially with the economic situation as it is right now. At least I have Thanksgiving to look forward to, it's been good to me in the past.

I'm investing in some porcelain veneers this December, so I'm excited about that. Pretty cool that I can afford such a thing at 21, considering it's going to cost around 8 grand.

philosophical bullshit

Work sucked hard tonight.

I'm over this job but I can't quit. I'm addicted to the money.

There's a girl who keeps trying to get me to join her soft core porn site and I'm considering it. I don't want to deal with people in person anymore. I get angry-physically mad-at the customers.

I don't want a future. I don't want to finish school and get a 'respectable' job. I don't want a boyfriend or a house or kids or a dog. I don't want friends. I just want to make money and buy the things I want and take solace in the fact that I care about no one.

I just want to know that people want me but can never have me. Sometimes I wonder if I even have a personality. I try and think about how I feel and what constitutes those feelings and there's nothing. Just blankness.

I find it impossible to make the things I say and do reflect how I really feel because I don't know. I can't grasp the concept of other peoples' feelings. I only feel bad for myself.

Bringing Pops to the Titty Bar

So I completely forgot to post about a little something that occurred last Sunday...My old roommate decided to drop by the club, and he brought a guest!

His stepdad.

Now if that isn't just the trashiest, most redneck thing to do, then I don't know what is. Seeing that he's pretty much trailer trash sans the trailer (how he was blessed with above average intelligence I'll never know) it wasn't all that surprising-but still annoying. He did the same thing with a friend of his a while back (brought him to my club), which wasn't as bad, but still obnoxoius. It's like he's saying, "Hey look, I fucked this girl and she's a stripper, hur-de-durrr. Even though there wasn't much fucking, and the fucking that did occur was horrible, small details like this don't matter to men.

Needless to say I ignored the both of them and got trashed in the meantime. I got a customer to buy me half a new outfit, so the night wasn't a total wash.

I took a bit of time off last week (3 nights), but this week it will be back to work.

.00

So I blew a .00 at work tonight for the first time in a while. It feels pretty good to be able to drive my own vehicle home, I must say.

My new roommate is really cool. It's strange having a roommate who is actually nice and friendly and doesn't act like an asshole 99% of the time. He will wash my dishes, take out the trash, offer to cook for me...it's great.

I've been working a lot lately. Tonight I was in VIP with some other girls and they were gross. As soon as I walked in, and I was the last girl to do so, I knew that I was going to be in for a disturbing time. I really tried to keep my guy's eyes on me so he wouldn't feel gipped or left out. Ugh.

Marriage

"Marriage is just prostitution prepaid and purchased at wholesale price."